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I Had A Dream That I Crashed My Dad's Jeep On The Bronx River Parkway

by abriction

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1.
Fairy Kisses 03:57
I'm always stuck in my head But sometimes it's beautiful The sounds and shapes take me away No words could ever encapsulate I wish that I could take you there The grass it feels like angel hair Fairy kisses in the air Never cry when you are there Everything I've ever known makes me recall memories From a life I've never known I wish I could just go back home I hate the real world, I mean it with my soul Everything comes to life, so I'm never alone Burned in my brain is a model of my first home Black my eyes, I'm terrified Hold me close, don't let me fly
2.
Our eyes aligning to perfect symmetry And fingers laced Soaring in this purple sky The burn of whiskey warms your heart on these cold winter nights Are you looking for your home You know you won't find it here Find it here, find it here, find it here Do you feel like you're alone Do the walls talk back, back to you Back to you, back to you
3.
Enchanted wounds that you inflicted In tiny fragments, I fall onto you like rain did I'll fly My feathers, iridescent I thought you'd be the one to catch my blood I'm heading south for the winter this year I'm tired of living my days in fear And you cause it Hungover in my friend's car, you don't even know her You never gave a fuck, maybe when you're older I don't see the point in ever staying sober When you're already loving, yeah I'm jealous When I die, I'll already know what hell is Nightmares of the times you said you loved me Maybe one day, you will understand me Maybe one day, you won't be so heartless Catch my blood It's what you deserve Catch my blood It's what you wanted
4.
9 Lives 02:52
Maybe I'm right when I say that love is only lust in disguise And the romance is nothing but plastic, replaceable like it's a fashion trend I know that it's not something you want to admit And we all would love if it could be what we envisioned when we all were kids If you worry bout the past, you'll never be present Just walk forward, breathe and learn the new methods Pop the red pill, just expect the worst outcome Reality can't always be what we asked for I had a conflict, had to stop it, I ran in some circles got nauseous I found my way out of the moshpit The blood on my lip tells the story of it all It all went south when I put someone before me Just don't cry about it now cause tomorrow's not guaranteed Caution to the wind, no feathers I burned that stupid letter I did some things I regret, and I'm shameful that I did But it's over with and done So all I can do is run with the knowledge that I've gained and illuminate more than ever 9 lives waste away so easily, don't let it I haven't seen you happy in a minute I wrote this for myself, I just hope I don't forget it I've been drunk way too much, sober too little I can now see everything at once
5.
Why does everyone that I meet fall in love with me And who exactly do you expect me to be I feel like all my remaining friendships are tainted Oh, I never asked for this to happen And my anxieties they peak when I'm faced with this old decision Cause I've got nothing of use to offer I can't just ignore the pressure that I feel And it's been so long since I could trust myself But we can't go back to what we were before This only ends in certain tragedy
6.
Engulf 05:17
7.
Grayscale 01:47
I'm still afraid to die And I spend my days obsessing over it Just wait til you're old enough You'll notice that it's not As worth it as it seemed To die at 17 I dropped out at fifteen But I wish that I knew then that I'd spend the rest of my youth by myself
8.
No One Knows 04:56
The deep blue of morning in my room Droplets on my window It's better here than there cause I would get my pretty hair all wet It's easier to lay in bed and spend the days wondering where your life went I'm so scared of the people out there I've seen how they act under pressure Just to gain some leverage Last night I went to a bar, but I couldn't get in But somehow, woke up drunk in a 'Cedes-Benz It wasn't mine though, I know I fucked up I'm not committed to anyone, so what the fuck Six lines on the dashboard, it's not what I asked for But hell if I know, so why be stuck in the past for I left And I don't know what I did But something told me I shouldn't have tried to grow up so quick And that's it What do I have to show for myself And hey If you stuck around through everything I guess that probably says something I don't know And bleed Like there's no tomorrow Drain out all of your sorrow No one knows
9.
Grayscale eyes Deceiving Instill the fear in me Oh, I believe it Believe it You're not so easily defined All they know is what they find Rest your head here with mine Things all fade away with time And when they're coming back to you They just want to take from you They were gone when you were broke Now they need a hand to hold If you want to be safe and not sorry Don't tell them you saw me here I had to make sure you were okay I know that they don't want me here Break them down, the walls you put up Keep me from the truth, you fooled us Let your true colors bleed out Bleed a silent river for me
10.
Amber Rain 05:34
11.
The buzz of 2007 lingering Staring through the wind blinds at the day sky beginning to fade It's here when I envision the essence of someone broken and new to adulthood I can even see it in myself A rainy day at the busy mall in the food court At a big glass wall I feel, so comforting Buzzing how I heard it in my aunt's house I want to be it How can it hit so deeply I feel my heart sink for a moment And my breath slows, longing for that day I want to be it The muffled buzzing, so comforting as day fades 2006 gloom of Pennsylvania In a less populated, high altitude town A small grassy backyard with a yellow slide Leaving in a silver 2001 Chevy Cavalier On a long road with relatively open grassy land on either side Orange sunlight hitting the yellow signs Right where it belongs And through the mountainous roads, I feel it gloom I can never go back And time is no longer meaningless
12.
13.
Drown 04:16

credits

released November 16, 2022

**credits**
FAIRY KISSES: abriction // PERFECT SYMMETRY: abriction, nihil // CATCH MY BLOOD: abriction // 9 LIVES: abriction, angor // CAMELS & GUINNESS: abriction // ENGULF: abriction, Alice Hansen & Chuck Blazevic of You'll Never Get To Heaven // GRAYSCALE: abriction // NO ONE KNOWS: abriction // BLEED A SILENT RIVER: abriction, Johnny Jewel // AMBER RAIN: abriction, Emily Jacobs & Tom Evans of Labrynth Ear // TACONIC PARKWAY: abriction // I LAY IN THE DISTANT FLAME: abriction // DROWN: abriction, Charlotte Oleena

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